My Army Wife Handbook came in the mail over the weekend =D I decided to start from the top of the list and go from there ~ so I am going to read through it and then probably get the “HELP I have a life too!” book next ;-)
So far, I have briefly read through some of the history of army wives dating back to the 1800’s. No wonder there is still such a stigma between Officer and Enlisted wives. Here is some of what I have discovered:
During the Civil War era (quite an oxymoron in my opinion), officers married the socially prominent daughters of the well-to-do who carried the social customs of the ante-bellum period with them to the frontier garrisons; Enlisted men on the other hand, were forbidden to marry. This policy was ignored more often than not, and the men married laundresses, the only women with official Army status.
During World War I, officer’s wives continued to live glittery lives, enjoying themselves during daily leisure time and focusing on entertaining their husbands’ superior officers during the evenings. The wives of this era were not unaware of the need to make an impression. They became the “Army’s aristocracy”.
While officer’s wives were busy making impressions, the soldier’s wives and families were often less fortunate, facing overcrowding and substandard living conditions in some instances.
During this time, it was very rare for officer’s wives and soldiers’ wives to interact with each other. Wives lived with their husbands and housing for officer’s and soldiers were located in different areas – thus becoming known as “soap-suds row” and “officer’s row”.
In the early twentieth century, the role of officer’s wives became more formalized – they learned to ride, learned to play golf and tennis, and continued to entertain guests.
The War Department permitted enlisted men to marry upon approval from their superior officer, provided it was for the good of the public interest.
Later in the century, wives’ clubs were more formally organized, split between Officers, Noncommissioned officers (NCO’s), and Enlisted wives clubs. Customs and courtesies were updated, and the time is probably most commonly remembered for formal parties and galas. During this time, wives also staffed the first nurseries, floral and thrift shops, and youth centers.
Of course, we know that the Army of today is much different…but it is also much the same. To see and comprehend where we have come from helps explain where we are now, and more importantly, where we need to be in the future.
On this journey, I support two members of the Army: The first is my husband, an Army officer candidate that has much to offer the United States Military. They really do not know (yet) what a tremendous asset is at their finger tips. I know that with time, dedication, and the proper training, he will surpass all expectations. The second is our very best, most trusted friend, and faithful worker, Jason, who is now a Combat Engineer. The two of them have been the best of friends since sixth grade and absolutely nothing regarding their relationship has changed. Their friendship was amazing to watch cultivate from their younger days until now. It has provided me with a true picture of what friendship should be like.
I decided to make this entry because I believe it is important for “enlisted” AND “officer” wives to know that not all (potential) officers wives are snots (ß best adjective I can come up with at the current moment!) I now understand the history and stigma attached to this (b/c I took the time to research it), and also understand that a lot of women/ spouses do wear rank. However, I hold both of these gentlemen very dear to my heart; their rank, duties, and what medals they may or may not have (or will have) on their uniform do not determine my actions/reactions to them (or their family), or the feelings I hold for each of them, for that matter. The same will be true of each and every other service member and their family I have contact with. It helps being able to see the pasture from both sides of the fence.
I pray that I will have humility, understanding, patience, and most of all, Godliness, now and during the future, so that I may help the many women (including myself) during this journey. I look to the woman in Proverbs 31 and strive to become like her. More on this to come =)
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